The Cleanest Toilet In The World

A warmhearted feeling from the tiniest memory, buried so deep. We shared only the music and creative work of others. We replaced our story with theirs, we were never meant to have our own. You could never see me with your own eyes, hear my words, listen to my forgiveness. I thought I could carry your weakness the way you should have carried mine, given me the shelter, guidance, I needed so. All that is left of you now is kept away somewhere deep inside. Lost.
I will forever keep the lightness of your being in my heart.

Paper paper obsolete. I thought you'd ask me not to leave.

Look at my fingertips, they are touching your forehead. 

No more, no longer any sparkling emerald green arches surrounding the pace of your words. 

Forever and ever in absolute hunger. Thirsting for air.

Far far away from this hole of growling midgets.

Oh, look at that. I just slapped your blushing cheek.

Now,

Weep.

Sweet stuff from the top of the pop-tarts. Here's something for you to chew my friend.

I'm playing hard-to-get with anger. A new do and a new pair of feet please so I can keep climbing the ladder of awesomeness. I'm extraordinary in all forms of crap.


"I come bearing forgiveness 
 Only love, only love
 even if it's not enough"

Words may wound but silence breaks the heart.

Uncontrollable movements through the tip-toes, 

dance with me through the ugliness of complete abnormality.

The way sincerity twists is not for the faint-hearted.

"

Oh if you knew what it meant to me

Tomorrow is the day of destruction, the end of all that it could be.
Swarming dust and fog to put my mind at ease.
There is no cruelty in endings.
It is not shallow or fleeting.
It is pure and bare for the ones who feel it,
It is not for you.

Unrequited belonging can turn into destruction of a barren soul.
I am to be part of someone else now.



All of the unspeakable things
I'm searching.

A kid called, Panic!

Vila dina arma händer i mina
Gräv ner dina vita knogar i min hud
Rista in din ondska på min bröstkorg,
låt den få vila där och sjunka in i mitt genomskinlig skinn
Låt kylan i dina ord svalka i min värme
för den är outgrundlig, bottenlös, utan skörhet.

Undress me and lighten my burden

In i skogens jordiska vrå ska vi skapa en plats åt alla de ensliga själar. 

Svart sot ska fördöma inkräktare, förbarma de ihåliga vraken.

De öppna såren ska vi rispa upp tills de får läkas av jorden och regnet. 

Här ska bara dem starka vara, dem som lever så genomsyrande nära, 

nära allt det obetydligt svåra och underbara. 

Aldrig ska solen få mörkna vårt skinn eller lämna avtryck. 

Det ska vara den vackraste av platser. 

- Just shot myself in the head. Unexpected weird stuff came out the other end.

.

I am the one who dwells in the forest. But I'm not for you to find.

To treat my heart so gently, for it breaks so easily.
In everything that was, there could be no warmth nor light.
It is in my greatest effort I carefully tread through my own confusion.
My thoughts are my greatest strength and weakness.
There is only clarity in solitude.
The only place I can find peace.

Slit icket sönder dig själv kära hjärtanes barn!

Svepande vindar smeker ömt mina lockar till en gyllene storm. Jag är stormen.

                        - Adults are, like, this mess of sadness and phobia.

Emissary

The gravel you planted in my head are stoned to bits, turned to molecules of reclusive ease.

So, me and Für Elise are in cahoots nowadays. Except for the "crying&screaming in ultimate dissatisfaction" bit, we did manage to see eye to eye when singing the nightingale song of frogs. Oh how lovely it would be if that was enough for you as well. 

"Quiet people have the loudest minds"

Sweet mother of all that is holy

Squashing my brain for the sake of  the number jumble. 

In the book of worldly descriptions, 

math should be described as pure shit.

At least for unconventional thinkers like myself.

Particles of the universe

Everything feels like a lifetime.

I'm always the oldest among the withered elderly.

I might have broken everything,

while I was mending the fragile brokenness of it all.

There's no easy way out of the complete darkness of my gory insides.

Staring at my own reflection,

I see only but crouching freckles and the blurriest birthmarks.

Loneliness is the easiest thing when it's the only thing you know.

(Heartbeats)

Allt jag önskar finns i din andnings repetition

Sov så gott du videung. 

Svartemålat över ögon två. 

Nerklubbad under jorden, 

ner till underjorden. 

Jordens skorpa rispar och ristar tills skulderbladen rostar. 

Nu orkar icket den lockiga tösen något mer.

Obelåten tickar tiden, det finns ingen tid längre. 

Inget utrymme för de obekväma. 

Nu är det slut på dragspelets visor, 

jag ska elda upp helvetet.

You're pretty much my most favorite of all time in the history of ever.

        I lost my head on my way to sanity.

   Det ser ut att regna tusenskurar idag.

   Man ska se till att hålla sig över ytspänningen,

   dagar som dessa.

   Olycksaliga saker kan inträffa.

Oh those sweet, sweet tunes

    

     Gettin ready for work.

Snustorra fötter i dyngblött gräs, på med skorna flicka

Trembling movements are approaching from the fog,
hiding and sneaking from far away places.
In backwards speed they are getting closer,
soon they'll be pounding on my back.
I'm afraid of the ache and black bruises they might cause.
Still, the very thought of it causes me to let them in.

Klara stavas med C.

Svag krackelering har börjat uppstå i mina händer,
jag slits konstant mellan de två ytterligheterna.
Växternas gröna klorofyll gör dragkampen mindre destruktiv,
fattigare.
Jag sveps om i girlander av murgröna och silverek,
det är där jag gömmer mig i avsaknaden av mitt regn.
Jag fattas mörkret och tystnaden.


"The water can't drown me, I'm done 
With my dying."

I'll sink into my skin and bones

Like a skin thin needle,
you pierced through my scull.
For the rush of normality inside my crackled little heart,
my heart of chaos.
Small, small flickers of ease,
are to be placed gently on my chest.
I'm everywhere now.

EAT MORE ART, says Kafka.

In the absence of any kind of notion of what the near future might hold for me, I surrender myself to the wandering souls. But oh, in good company I am.

You know, I will If you will